who's ya daddy“One year at Camp/Retreat Agape our theme was “Who’s ya Daddy?”  Of course, it was a bit of a spin-off from the current culture in which some children do not know who their father is because they live in a one parent household.

Our purpose was to help remind our members that their Father is God.  We want them to understand they will never be without a daddy when they accept Jesus as their Savior.  They are adopted into the household of God because of Jesus’ shed blood.

The idea actually came from my son-in-law.  His father is a bishop in the Mennonite community.  He recalls that each morning as he and his brothers left for school, they were reminded by one of their parents, “Remember who your daddy is.”  The unspoken theme was “don’t do anything that would bring shame to your dad.”

This gentle reminder has become a chorus that often sings through my heart and thoughts during the day.  Especially when I’m tempted to do or say things that will bring shame to my Father God, my spirit gently whispers, “Remember who your daddy is.”

surferPerhaps one of the saddest scenes I can remember was one morning when my husband and I went out to breakfast.  It was a school day and the high school surfers often gathered at this spot after their morning surf and before school.  Four young men sat in a booth with wet hair and muscles that bulged through their T-shirts.  When a group of men in their early 30’s came in, I saw that the eyes of one blonde teenager drawn to them in a longing, melancholy way.  He stared at the men with an obvious sorrow.

In typical workmen fashion, these thirty-something men were busy planning their day.  They were completely unaware of their surroundings.  One of the teenagers nudged the blonde surfer, “Isn’t that your dad?”

“Yep,” the teenager confirmed without taking his eyes off his father.

“Go, tell his hello,”  a third teenager commanded the blonde surfer.

father and sonRather than following the orders of his friend, the surfer bowed his head in shame.  “I can’t,” he wistfully mumbled ripping his stare from his father and directing it to his hands that rested in his lap.  “I don’t think he knew me.”

We must never wonder if our heavenly Father is aware of us because his tender compassion surrounds us each moment.  As we remember who our Daddy is, there is an equally strong imperative to know that God’s love will never leave us or forsake us.

chatEven though saying what we mean is difficult, it may be harder to mean what we say.  When working with people with intellectually disabilities, I’ve found that our sub-culture is actually less prone to say things they do not mean than other segments of the population.  Yet, this is a continuing problem within our society.

A good friend of mine tells me that his wife was constantly threatening to “leave and never come back.”  He learned eventually that this was only an idle threat; but even in knowing this, it put him in continual trauma.  Finally, he realized that the sense of drama which produces trauma was her true purpose.  This is when he learned to ignore the threats.

However, threats about almost everything is a part of many people’s lives.  A parent may tell the Bible study teacher, “If that happens again, my daughter won’t be able to come back to your program.”  A member may inform you, “I’m never coming back…” if I don’t get my way.

talking to each otherOne of the great life lessons is to mean what we say.  Our members who are mentally challenged are concrete learners.  They must have truth in everything they do, especially in their relationship with the Lord. I’ve found that even some people who claim to have a vital relationship with the Lord have a little problem with mangling the truth.

Understand that I’m not speaking from the lofty tower of innocence.  I’ve caught myself more often than I care to remember torturing the truth in my speech.  When we mean what we say, there is a release that comes for everyone with whom you must interface.

“I will go” becomes a sealed covenant.  “I can’t do that” releases you and the other person from future expectations.  “If you do that, I must punish you” is a committment that should not be violated.  This week there was a conflict between two members.  One member began to curse at the other person.  I had to pull him out and ask for him to apologize.  He refused.

argueThis refusal meant that I had to separate him from the others.  Once we were in a more private area, I could reason with him.  Within a few minutes, he was able to understand what was needed and what should be done.  He agreed and could be moved back to his normal seat.  My greatest danger  in this situation was threatening something that I could not or would not do.  It was essential to mean what I said.

Only the Lord’s strength and wisdom can help us to follow through on what we say.  Asking for his help always allows us to become the people of integrity that who can be the example we need to be for our members.