For years, dealing with NORMAL folks, they almost never called to tell me that they would not be attending church.  However, since ministering within the mentally challenged community, our members often call to let me know that they won’t be attending.  Most of the time, reasons are reasonable and prudent.  “I’m sick” or “I’ll be out-of-town.”  But I’ve also heard many bazaar excuses.  Here are a few of my favorites.

  • I can’t come.  I plan on being sick on Sunday.
  • I can’t come.  We had a meal last week at Special Gathering and I got sick.  So I’m not coming next week because I might get sick again.  I say, “But we aren’t eating anything next week.”  I know.  But I got sick last week and I don’t want to get sick again.
  • I went to the dentist on Monday.  I don’t want to come to church on Sunday because my teeth might hurt when I eat my cookies for refreshments.  I ask, “Are you hurting now?”  No. “Are you eating now.”  After giggles she said, Of course, I’m eating.   “Can’t you just not eat the cookie?”  No, because I might want to eat one of them.
  • I can’t come to Special Gathering next week.  You made me sick last week.  “I made you sick?  What did I do?”  Oh, nothing but I got sick when I came home from church so you made me sick.
  • I can’t come to Special Gathering any Sunday this month.  I’m going on a trip in four weeks. I need the time to pack my suitcase.  “How long will you be gone?”  Two days but it takes me a long time to decide what to take.
  • I’m not coming to Special Gathering next week.  I’m having an operation in a couple of months and I have to rest.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  What’s wrong with your?”  Nothing’s wrong.  I’m having a tooth filled and I need to rest.
  • I have to go to work on Monday and I can’t come to Special Gathering on Sunday.  “But you work every Monday.  Is something important or different happening?”  No.  Everything’s the same.  But I still can’t come.

I know that you have your favorite excuses that come from your members.  Perhaps you will share them with us.