We recently got a kitten, and my biggest fear was that he would not use his litter box, but have “accidents” all over the house (we’ve had kittens before so we know the dangers!) Happily, he took right to the box.

However, every morning while I’m engaging the unpleasant task of scooping out, Durango chooses just that moment to use the box, making the chore even harder!

So I say to him, “Durango, I’m glad you use your box, but you sure do have lousy timing!”

Lousy timing…that phrase coming out of my own mouth gave me pause, because I realize how often I have had lousy timing with my kids and with my husband.

For example, correcting kids is a good thing. It’s one good way that they learn. But often I chose to correct them during a heated moment: when they spilled their food all over the floor; when they embarrassed me in public; when they were upset over something that only their young hearts and minds understood.

A child’s ability to learn heart lessons about behavior during a time of conflict or high emotion is ZERO in my opinion.


Here’s something to remember: the louder and more emotive we talk, the less our kids hear!

Yet, in those times when I acted more wisely, and corrected and taught my kids after the incident and when everyone was calm, their hearts were open to my instruction, and they learned lessons that would help them be motivated from the inside, as opposed to merely externally and not from the heart.  It was a time when we could talk about the “whys” of behavior, and therefore when they could embrace convictions of their own.

It’s the same principle with a spouse or any other close relationship. Timing is everything when it comes to effective communication that leads to heart-felt changes.


I’m an impulsive person by nature, but that doesn’t excuse those times when I have a poor sense of timing.

Proverbs 15:28 says, ” The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer…”

The word “ponder” is defined in my dictionary as “to weigh in the mind; to reflect upon.” Pondering brings about words that are spoken at the right time.

Avoid “lousy timing.” Cats don’t know much about timing (save maybe in catching mice and bugs) but God has given us humans the ability to ponder and to use good timing to help our kids learn lesson of the heart that will stay with them for life.

copyright 2011

Bev Linder


Comments?  I’d love to hear from you!

contact me at: bev@special-heart.com