In survival mode

Each year in Florida, there are threats of budget cuts to the services of people who are mentally challenged.  More and more, these cuts are a reality.  These are lean times everywhere.  Many states are broke or going broke.

While it appears that other budget items either stay the same or they are increased, the intellectually disabled community received the projected cuts.  Placing blame does little good.  However, we have learned that being proactive does help, especially if the advocacy is done by self-advocates.

Last year, a group of self-advocates traveled several times during the legislative session to petition the legislators to stop the proposed changes and cuts.  While walking the halls of the Senate office building, these men and women “bumped into” the president of the Senate.  They asked for an appointment to speak with him and got one.  Some are saying their advocacy made the difference in legislation being altered in the favor of the consumer.

Last evening, several people who are involved in Special Gathering from a couple of states met for dinner.  One of the SpG volunteers also heads an agency.  ”We only get paid for three days of rehab now for Jill and others.  Therefore, we have to be pretty creative with the days for which we are paid.  The other days have to be even more creative,” she said, laughing.  However, I have seen the toll this financial strain has taken on the agency and their employees.

This agency is determined to not enter a “survival mode” mentality.  However, other agencies who work with our population have had to simply find ways to exist.   The uncertainty of funding does play on the minds of people who are mentally challenged.  They are aware of the pending difficulties.

In dealing with our members, it may be good to give them continual reassurance that God has a plan and that He will protect us if we remain faithful to Him.  This will be reinforced and believed, if we truly believe that our stability doesn’t come from the government or even the value of the dollar but from a gracious God who loves us.

 

Let’s Talk–The Family Cafe’s weekly conference call

This is information I received from Family Cafe.  It is an opportunity for which you may want to take advantage.

Dear Friends,

Let’s talk! The Family Café has been constructed around the idea that better informed families make better decisions for themselves and their loved ones. So we would like to offer you a chance to become better informed through weekly conference calls during the 2012 Regular Legislative Session!

During the 2012 Regular Legislative Session, which began on Tuesday, January 10 and lasts for 60 days, The Family Café will host a weekly conference call to discuss the outcomes of Session for that week.

Let’s talk! Please call in!  The Family Café will provide a recap of what our state Legislative leadership is doing, and how it will impact all of us.  Please call in!

Let’s talk!  Each conference call will feature various speakers, community leaders, legislative experts and local activists that will share a variety of thought provoking ideas and comments regarding the agencies and programs funded by the state.

Let’s talk! Such a grand mission can only be successful with your participation!  Simply call the number below on Friday afternoon at 4:00 p.m. (EST). Your input, suggestions and resource sharing will ultimately make this community as powerful and productive as it can be. At such a crucial time, we need to concentrate our strength, power and wisdom in order to insure an improved quality of life for all Floridians with disabilities.

Let’s talk! This is your call!  This week’s call is set for Friday, January 27^th at 4:00 p.m.  The call is open to everyone! 

But we can’t do it without you!

Let’s talk!

Friday, January 27, 2012

4:00 p.m. EST

Dial-in Number:  1-888-808-6959 

Conference Code 2244670 followed by the # Key.

Sharing our various, unique perspectives is how we learn from each other, and ultimately affect change. To that end, we want to provide a variety of other methods to share, including social networking through FaceBookand Twitter at @TheFamilyCafe. The world is a much smaller place when more people can hear you. So let’s talk!

Yours,

The Family Café

 

Created to need other people

It surprises no parent that the first two brothers were rivals.  Cain, the older sibling, became jealous of  Able when God favored Able’s sacrifice over his.  Cain came to believe that the root of all his problems was his brother.  He was convinced that the only way he could live a good life if he could get rid of his brother, Able.  Cain did not understand that the way we treat other people effects the life we live.  Eventually, the pain of Cain’s own misdeeds became such a festering sore that he killed his brother.

 The Bible records God’s reaction to Cain’s murder of his brother, And now you will be cursed in your work with the ground, the same ground where your brother’s blood fell and where your hands killed him.

All of us want good things to happen to us.  There is an innate desire for God’s blessings to rest on our lives.  Even those who claim to not believe in God, quickly curse the Lord when misfortune happens to them.

Often, we cannot understand why we aren‘t able to get the job we want.  It is a continual complaint that we can’t live where we desire.  Our inability to pay our bills bring a biting gal that seems to ruin everything in our lives.

While generalization can be misleading, it could be wise to realize that there are times that we must understand that the way we treat other people effects the way we are treated.  Looking at the things that happen to us through the lens of how we treat others can be a good measure stick.

Jesus was always kind and loving; he is our example of how we are to live and treat each other.  He wanted the little children around him.  He forgave the woman who was brought to him caught in the middle of having sex with a man who was not her husband.  He healed the sick and epileptic.  He raised the dead boy and gave him back to his mother.

Jesus wants us to treat others in the same way.  We should not be hurting other people with the things we say.  Even simple things, such as pushing and shoving when we are in a crowded area.  We should not steal even the smallest things from each other.  We should strive to be polite and gracious even to that cashier at Wal-Mart who is determined to ruin our day with her snide remarks.

Jesus said, “Do unto other in the same you would have them do unto you.”  Additionally, the Laws of God determine that we will be  treated with love as we treat others.

 

When the Lord goes before us

Three weeks ago, I planned my lesson for this last Sunday.  I wanted to have our members make get-well cards for two people who are in the hospital.

I was a bit leery because the Bible study teachers at Special Gathering are possessive of the time spent with their class members.  They don’t like to share.  This, of course, is a good thing.  However, I try to not interfere with this half-hour when they are teaching the Word to their students.

It seemed like a good idea three weeks ahead of time, but as the Sunday approached, I became more and more apprehensive.  In my mind, I settled on a plan to let the teachers take the members of their classes into their respective rooms and have them do the cards as class units.

When I arrived at First United Methodist Church of Melbourne, which graciously hosts our Sunday morning chapel services, the campus supertindent met me at the door.  In a bit a frenzy, he reported,  ”Your Special Gathering Bible classrooms are completely filled with things that will be sold next Saturday at the rummage sale.  I don’t know what you are going to do for classrooms.”

I smiled, clutching my get-well cards to my heart.  ”That’s great.  It seems God had other plans for today.”

It isn’t often that the Lord clearly breaks into our lives, helping us to understand that He walks before us and directs our lives.  However, when a coincidence is too supernatural to be ignored, even the greatest skeptic must agree that the Lord does indeed help, direct and guide our lives.

I can hardly imagine how difficult this concept must be for our members who are mentally challenged and may even wrestle with other disabilities.  On the other hand, they seem to grasp these difficult principles with the gusto of an anxious toddler.  Perhaps, they are more blessed than we can ever imagine.

 

Created to need other people

We were created to need other people

Genesis 4:11

Central Theme:   The way we treat other people effects the way God allows us to be treated.

Introduction–Tell the story of Cain and Able.  Cain thought that he could live a good life if he could get rid of his brother.  He did not understand that the way we treat other people effects the life we live.  Have a member read Genesis 4:11.

I.     All of us want good things to happen to us

1.  We cannot understand why we aren‘t able to get the job we want, and live where we want, and pay our bills.

2.  We don‘t understand that the way we treat other people effects the way we are treated and the things that happen to us.

II.     Jesus was always kind and loving he is our example of how we are to live and treat over people.

A. He wanted the little children around him

B. He forgave the woman who was brought to him caught in the middle of having sex with a man who was not her husband.

C. He healed the sick and epileptic

D. He raised the dead boy and gave him back to his mother.

III.     Jesus wants us to treat others in the same way.

A. We should not be hurting other people with our mouths.

B. We should not be pushing and shoving.

C. We should not steal from each other.

D. We should not be rude.

Conclusion: He will treat us with love as we treat others.  Jesus said, “Do unto other as you would have them do unto you.:”

 

Free workshops at Scott Center Melbourne, FL

This is an email I received today.  It is from

Alice Du Fault

Child & Family Consultants, Inc.

1800 Penn St., Ste#12

Melbourne, FL  32901

(321)768-6800 Telephone

(321)768-6858 Fax

www.brevardchildandfamilyconsultants.com

Registration for these classes is free but registration is required.  I suggest you call Ms. DeFault for information on how to register.

 

The Scott Center offers free monthly workshops for parents, educators and professionals who deal with the issues of autism. They are held from 6:30-8:00 pm in the Seminar Room at The Scott Center for Autism Treatment.

Feb. 22, 2012–Preparing Teens and Young Adults with ASD and/or Learning Differences for Independence: Perspectives from Students and Professionals

March 21, 2012–Learn How to Teach Life Skills to Individuals with Limited Language

April 18, 2012–What’s Hot and What’s Not in the world of benefits to protect your children and your family

–Refreshments provided

May 16, 2012–What is Applied Behavioral Analysis?

June 2012–No session

July 27, 2012–Boundaries Boot Camp for teachers, parents, and caregivers

(This is not a free event; Registration is required for this all day workshop)

 

Old Friends, New Visions

The choir sang and then I spoke.  As I shared our missions vision to the group at Trinity Presbyterian Church in Satellite Beach, I scanned the people’s faces and my eyes screamed to a halt when I saw her face.  ”My good friend, Carol, was sitting in the audience.  She smiled as she realized that I had recognized her.  Though, it’s probably been 10 years, it was the same smile and the same kindred that was sparked as I continued my presentation.

There is perhaps nothing better than seeing the face or hearing the voice of an old friend.  Yesterday, Mia called.  Even though my phone clues me into the person calling, I waited until she responded to my greeting before I called her name.  It makes her giggle that I “recognize” who she is.  Mia is a Special Gathering member who has attended off and on for more than 20 years.  She was a young girl of 14 or 15 when I first met her and now she is an adult with two teenage children.

High functioning and dual diagnosed with mental health issues, Mia began smoking cigarettes when she was first institutionalized for bipolar disorder.  Now, she has ruined her lungs.  At times, she cannot breathe because of COPD.  We laughed and talked for about 5 minutes.  ”Please, pray for me,” she said before we hung up the phones.  She promised to come to Special Gathering on Sunday but I no longer expect for her to attend, even when her deep desire is to be there.

This morning as I texted Carol hoping we could meet for lunch, I was struck by the fact that my love for Mia and my love for Carol are the same.  Mia isn’t a “special needs project.”  She is my good and long-time friend who often calls for prayer because she loves me as much as I love her.

I talk often with Ferne Brandt, our area director of The South Carolina Special Gathering.  I’m happy that I’ve finally gotten to know most of her core membership because I can never tell whether she is speaking about her members or her volunteers.  The respect and admiration regarding the friendship they share isn’t different.

When there is genuine friendship, something miraculous happens.  We not only share memories of the past but joy of the present and anticipation for a glorious future.  When I scanned the room at Trinity Presbyterian, it wasn’t simply the joy of seeing an old friend that ignited my spirit but her smile said, “You are doing good. You’ve found YOUR place and I love you for who you have become.”  The most wonderful thing I saw in Carol’s smile was an appreciation for who I am today–not what I was twenty years ago.

I find that sometimes I get stuck in the mud and mire of the past in regard to my members.  Oh, you act so spiritual now.  Thoughts swim in and out of my brain.  But I remember when you hit George and cussed out Marie.  Then there was the incident on the city bus and…  Too often, my thoughts are Ralph will never change.  Ignoring the fact that those behaviors were when Ralph was 20.  Now he holds down a job.  He has become the primary caregiver of his elderly mother and he has garnered the respect of his peers.

While old friends are wonderful, we cannot get stuck with old visions.  I must demand that my thoughts leap forward into the future, commanding myself to learn and grasp the new visions of Special Gathering members, all my friends and of myself.

 

People you would like–Eric

I have to admit that regarding Eric, I border on having the pride of a parent.   He was a troubled child when he entered our program.  Because his disability was not pinpointed correctly, he wasn’t getting the treatment or interventions that he needed.  This led to behavioral concerns that were not entirely his fault.

However, he was cute beyond imagination, feisty and fiery.  You loved him at first sight.  I’ve known Eric for more than 20 years and he has grown into a man.  Tall and handsome, his frame is still thin and gangly giving him the appearance of a person much younger than his age.

At times, he isn’t able to control the effects of all the stimulation that surrounds him and he has to walk away from the crowd.  He paces until he is able to calm himself and then he returns.  He jokes and laughs with anyone who will take time to listen.

One evening as I was transporting him home from an event, it was raining.  This wasn’t one of those ordinary downpours but one that people remember and write about.  ”I won’t be able to get out of the car if it keeps raining like this,” Eric observed from the back seat.  I conceded the truth of his statement.

“If you pray, God will stop the rain.  You need to pray,” he instructed me.

I was a bit concerned because I didn’t have faith at that moment to pray for the rain to stop.  It had been raining almost non-stop all day.  I’d seen the weather report and the rain was going to continue until morning.

I had never heard Eric ask for prayer; and being this specific was an issue for me.  I didn’t want to hinder Eric’s growth in faith by not having his prayer answered.

In addition, we needed the rain.  Central Florida had been without rain for a long time.  We were needing rain more than Eric was needing to stay dry.

From the back seat, I heard him say, “You need to pray.”

Reluctantly, I prayed.  ”Lord, Eric needs to get out of the car.  Can you stop the rain for a moment so that he can get out of the car and get into his house?  In Jesus’ name,  Amen.”

Within five minutes we approached his house.  It was still pouring until I pulled into his driveway.  At that moment the rain stopped.  ”I better get out in a hurry,” Eric jovially asserted.  ”It’s only going to stop for a minute.”  He rushed out the car onto his front porch.  As he waved good-bye to me, the rain started back.

Again and again, I’ve seen Eric ask for ridiculously extravagant things from the Lord.  I’ve never seen the time that the Lord has refused his requests.

You would like Eric.

 

People you would like–Toni

I have been more impressed with Toni than most people I’ve met.  She didn’t impress me with her statue.  She is petite and thin.  Toni doesn’t stand out in a crowd.  While her smile is amazing, when we first met, I didn’t see her smile often.

Toni is one of those folks who wears well–extremely well.  As a member of our Special Gathering Vero Choir, she was diligent, learning the words to new songs the first week.  If she couldn’t attend our weekly chapel meetings, she sent her offering by a staff person.

During her free time, she is not content to sit at home doing nothing.  She has crocheted dozens of lap covers for Hospice patients.  ”I hate doing nothing,” she confesses.  Carefully stitching the granny pattern, she diligently works to help others.

When she was diagnosed with brain cancer, Toni was courageous beyond belief.  She would ask for prayer each time Special Gathering met; but she refused to dwell on her health problems.  Toni was not seeking sympathy but asking for people to join her, believing that God would heal her from a cancer than appeared to have no cure.

God gave her that miracle.  Toni has been free from cancer for more than a year.  She smiles often now.

You would like Toni.

 

People you would like–Andrew

Andrew moved with his family from up North about six years ago.  He is an outgoing, friendly man who has worked much of his life at Wal-Mart.  When lay-offs were needed at the store where he worked, Andrew was the first to go.

Then came a problem, Andrew had worked his whole life; and he didn’t want to stop.  Therefore, he started working around his house.  He especially enjoys yard work.  He would trim hedges and trees whether they needed it or not.  He even trimmed his neighbor’s trees, if he felt they needed it.

Of course, this caused some problems with the neighbors who preferred to do their own yard work.  When the family came to me asking for help, I wasn’t sure exactly what I could do.  ”Maybe some help is needed at the church where you hold your services,” the family suggested.  That seemed logical; but I wasn’t convinced the church would want or need Andrew’s help.

I carefully approached the building superintendent and explained Andrew’s desire to work.  A huge grin blossomed on his face.  ”Yes,” he said eagerly.  ”This is just the person for whom we’ve been looking.  For years, an elderly man would come each morning and pick up trash and debris.  He kept the campus spotless.  Recently, he died.  We have been looking for someone who would be willing to come and pick up paper and leaves for us. “

It was arranged that Andrew and his father would come three times a week.   Andrew works two hours or more under the supervision of his dad.

This is literally a match made in heaven.  Andrew happily works several hours a week doing what he loves.  The church is grateful to have someone who is faithful and willing to do a job that no one else wanted to do.

You would like Andrew.

 

She refused

You may have read this story before but it deserves to be retold.  Many parents choose to have their children and the results aren’t this profound but every child has as much value as Pam’s young son.

 

Created to make choices

Created to Make Choices

Romans 14:12

Central Theme:   God gave us the ability to make good and bad choices.

Introduction–I went to a pastor’s meeting and was forced into taking a job I did not want.  In reality, I made a choice to do the job I didn’t like. Each of us have choices and we make choices.  We do have the opportunity to talk to God about all the choices we make when we pray.

                 Have a member read Romans 14:12.

I.     Tell the story of Adam and Eve

1.  Eve was deceived but she made a choice.

2.  Adam was not deceived, he choose to follow Eve.

II.     There are two kinds of choices that we make.

A. We are tricked into making the wrong choice.

1.  We find ourselves in a place where we know what we should do but we choose to do something that is wrong.

2.  We might be tricked, or pressured, or forced but we do the right thing anyway.

B. Right or wrong–we decide on our own to do what we do.

III.     Each of us make choices each day and we should talk to God about the choices we make.

Conclusion–Jesus helps us to make good choices in our lives.

 

Changing the world

The theme for soulblindministry is “I’m just a simple guy simply trying to change the world.”  I haven’t followed Daniel Lyons’ blog long enough to know whether his thoughts are right or wrong; but I really admire and love his goal–to change the world.

I was married to a man for 49 years who deeply believed that the Lord had placed him on earth to change the world.  He believed that one day he would be able to invent a machine that would defy gravity and release the secret of energy.  He died before he could reach his goal.  However, living with him, I came to share his vision.

Changing the world is what Jesus came to do.  Changing the world is the mission that Jesus left with his disciples.  Think about these twelve men.  They were unschooled working men who turned the world right side up.  For more than 2000 years the dynamic effect Jesus has left on people have been a passion for change.  This passion has translated into a desire to help the people of the world release themselves into a supernatural energy force that will propel our planet into “peace on earth, goodwill to men.”

Not matter where I go today, I pray that my life will be an example of God’s peace and the goodwill that demonstrates that the world can change as God comes to live in our hearts and minds through the sacrifice of Jesus.

 

The Party’s over

The week before Christmas and the next two weeks have always been a bit of whirlwind for our family.  We celebrate Christmas and New Year’s Day heartily.  Additionally, there are three birthdays and three wedding anniversaries crammed into those short weeks.

January 7 would have marked my husband’s and my 50th wedding anniversary.  But he tricked the family and died on May 10, 2011, avoiding a large party.  The children and I were trying to sort through how to make an 50th anniversary party work with my husband very sick, limited mobility and basically no desire for a big party.  He solved the issue.

It seems selfish to feel a bit of disappointment that we didn’t make our 50th wedding anniversary because it is certainly true that I’m very happy that my husband is no longer suffering.  But for me our anniversary date was accented with the first full day of deep regrets since he died.

Ours wasn’t a perfect marriage.  We’ve been told by several newlywed couples that Frank and I could learn a great deal about marriage by watching how they interact.  There were many days of self-made trauma and conflict.  While he did things that annoyed me and bruised my spirit, I never doubted his love.  Yet, because of his own childhood and deep insecurities, he was never able to fully accept mine.

Now, I know that he is healed and not hurting.  That makes me happy.  Of course, the party is over but a new page is beginning for both of us.  And it is good.